Jazz owner dead

Larry H. Miller died.

SOTU drinking game madness.

Wonkette of course has all the rules. I am using the alternate rules, due to the Jazz-Spurs game that also has my attention.

aimlessly surfing the intertubes!

Whilst watching the Jazz lose to The Nuggets I have kept my hands busy. I was clicking on the Grammar.police blogroll and went to this sight which took me to MonkeySee a how to video site. It shows you how to do everything from change a car battery to making Neapolitan pizza. The intertubes keep on giving,

NBA Time

The Jazz-Warriors tonight. Lets go Jazz!!!
Here is Scoop Jackson's NBAiepedia so you can catch up with the League.

Max Roach Dies

Max Roach ,the drummer of the best Jazz band ever.

Dick Bovetta... You're next cocksucker

I'm shocked, Shocked... to find out refs have been fixing games. Of course, any Jazz fan has known this since the '98 Finals. Two bad shot clock calls and his airness knockin B-Russ to ground with no call. See for yourself.




NBA you better fix your game, ya' hear.

Simmons pimpin' for the Jazz

Bill Simmons, ESPN's Sports Guy, has finally said it, (Because someone had to say it, the national media have given the Jazz no respect.) The Jazz are a "good freaking good basketball team." All you experts and others who are penciling in the Spurs or Suns as the Western Conference Champions, step back and wait for the series to be played. (So you don't have to look at the AL East standings at the beginning of the post. I will quote the relevant bit here.)

"Um ... why doesn't anyone seem to think that Utah has a chance in the next round? You weren't impressed by those two impressive road wins (Game 7 in Houston, Game 4 in Oakland), the way they're dominating the glass or their various scoring options in crunch time? What am I missing? I will never understand why so many people underestimated them in Round 2 ... you'd think a lesson would have been learned. That's a good freaking basketball team."

Also, I am beginning to think that the Jazz might be better off facing the Spurs on Sunday instead of the Suns on Tuesday. But because the Suns got jobbed by the NBA, I still will cheer for them. Also there is the possibility of some friendly wagers if the Suns and Jazz play, so there is another reason to hope the Suns win. My gambling addiction... Either way it has been nice to have a breather from the playoffs for a minute and watch as other teams struggle to close out their series. Seriously, having a game every other day for almost three weeks has been exhilarating, but exhausting. That said, can't wait until the next series starts. GO JAZZ!!!

Jazz win!!! Suns get Screwed!

The Jazz win despite playing an error filled game. GO JAZZ!!! That said, I think the Warriors were a great team to watch and a great story. Boom Dizzle and company were a great opponent and I raise my glass to them.

The Suns lose Stoudemire and Diaw because the bullshit NBA enforces a rule needlessly and with total disregard for the interests' of the fans and the game. Hopefully, Nash can manage to win the game but without Amare, I don't see how. Good job Commissioner, You are an idiot.

Weekend Update

Two Jazz games this weekend but I have a severe internet dearth at home so I will not be posting. Here is how I see it going. The Jazz win tonight in a close game and lose on Sunday in a not so close game. But I could be mistaken...Hopefully Phoenix can get one in San Antonio. Please,Please,Please!!!

Apropos of nothing, (except I just had the Sugar Ray vs. Ali argument with BBA the other day)here is ESPN's top fifty boxers. #1, of course, is Sugar Ray Robinson. Good job fellas.

Game 7 Bitches!!!

The Jazz are BADASS!!! They went on the road and beat the Rockets, and regained homecourt in the second round, topping it off by making Tracy Lamar McGrady Cry! HA HA!!! Yes, they made Mr. First Round and Done cry.



Can't wait for the Warriors tonight, 7EO is gonna be jumpin' people. Its gonna be another nasty series but the Jazz win in Six. Here is my prediction after game 3. I said Jazz in 7. So, find your neighborhood bookie and take the Jazz.

Not only did T-Mac cry, but Van Gundy is also going to quit because the Jazz Rule. YOU GOTTA LOVE IT BABY!!!

Oh, By the way, not for nothin, but, Fuck you San Antonio. The Jazz are gonna fuck you up too. Write it down.


UPDATE: Simmons has Jazz in 5. The bandwagon starts here, people.

Hey Ma, I blog like a girl.(or How men get screwed on shoes)

Andrew Sullivan links to this site which purports to determine the gender of a writer by using an algorithm. The caveat being that it works best with over five hundred words. None of my posts are that long, so the results might be skewed. Overall, apparently, I blog like a girl. I guess I should be enraged at my algorithmic femininity but I'm not. I do find this is interesting and I wonder what else I do like a girl. No, not that(keep your mind out of the gutter)... Okay, I actually kind of hope I do that like a girl. So follow the link fellow bloggers and let me know if you blog like a girl in comments.

On a tangentially related note, Here is a (redacted and paraphrased)conversation from the 7EO last night. (Jazz won, by the way. Awesome.)

31: My clothes are being held hostage by the dry cleaners.
Me: Your dry cleaner won't give you your clothes?
31: Yeah, It sucks, the worst part is women get charged more than men.
Me: (cluelessly) They do?
31: Yeah, a white man's dress shirt cost less than a woman's dress shirt...
31's friend McNasty:(interrupting) Yeah, but men get screwed on shoes...
BBA: Yeah!
Me: (cluelessly, again) Yeah, we get screwed on shoes.
BBA: We've gotta drop $100 to $150 every time we buy shoes so you can take your two dollars at the dry cleaner...
Everybody laughs

This was our contribution to on going battle of the sexes that dominates our post-modern, 21st century, consumer oriented, existence. I found this entire exchange to be quite funny and enlightening because, despite the fact that I am essentially a materialist, I had never realized the sexist nature of capitalist valuing of goods. What other items are differently priced for each gender. Have no fear, come the revolution we will all wear over sized tees, Mao jackets and flip flops. Take that! Stupid Capitalism.

Did I mention the Jazz won. They did so with some 90's school Pat Riley type defense and allowed only 4 Rockets to score. Thats a playoff record and hasn't happened in the regular season since the the advent of the shot clock.(I have always wanted to say that. Its one of those phrases that gives a quasi-inttellectual air to the essentially mindless activity of reporting on sports.) So if you want to see teams shoot less than 40% and badly missed open jumpers this series is for you. I actually don't have a problem with this type of game, but I tend to be defense oriented, offense is for girls.(Ha, Algorithm, I own you. I am a Man.) The Jazzmen need to start hitting some shots or they are in trouble. I think the offense will come around. Prediction: This series goes all seven games and comes down to some ridiculous play that will be remembered, for better or worse, by The Jazz Nation forever. Write it down!

In case you hadn't figured it out, this is my attempt to write a five hundred word, sufficiently testosterone-filled, post(there is no word counter on blogspot, damn them) and I am not sure if I have five hundred words to say on one subject. This is probably due to my essentially laconic nature...laughter.....laughter subsides... Anyway, as Soul Asylum said, I did my best.

Update: Even this post is feminine.

Update II: ESPN's so called experts have the Jazz going down in 5 or 6 games to the Rockets. Sheridan even says "The Rockets are the best defensive team in the postseason." Really? Really? The Rockets scored 67 points last night. The Jazz held the Rocket bench scoreless. Oh this was just an "aberration." I'll give you an aberration, jerk off. When the Jazz are heading to Dallas, y'all can apologize.