Where things will go your way...or they won't

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Stoopid Republicans(mandatory Wednesday blogging)

I know everyone is probably wondering, "Chancelot, Why no NFL blogging?" (Not wondering? I am going to tell you anyway.) Two reasons: 1) I read too many football blogs so it seems as if I have nothing original to say. b) The above mentioned blog reading makes feel as if I am not as funny/insightful/good as the blogs in my blog roll who do the NFL.

For instance, HCIC on Belicheat/Spygate. KSK on the same topic.(Warning extremely funny.)

Too lazy to link to more posts, use the blog roll bitches.

But as you can see from this posts title that, brothers and sisters, is not why we are gathered here today. No we have come together to view in all its naked aggression and ugliness, the stupidity of the GOP, and I'm not even going to talk about the endless series of wars that Shrub is trying to get us involved in, Iran your next motherfuckers.

Here is a piece from earlier in the summer that I missed, apparently abortion is not only bad because of the baby killing but it also causes... wait for it... illegal immigration. Yes, so says Tom Delay.

"I contend [abortion] affects you in immigration," DeLay told the Washington-area gathering. "If we had those 40 million children that were killed over the last 30 years, we wouldn't need the illegal immigrants to fill the jobs that they are doing today. Think about it."

Yes, women, your ability to make choices in your life instead of being the mindless baby machines that Jesus intended you to be causes brown people to stream across the border. Wow, remember this was in front of the college republicans. Can't Delay be indited(again) for poisoning the youth or something. Thats what they got Socrates on right?

Also, remember Alan Greenspan, you know the Fed chair who endorsed Shrub's tax cuts for the rich. Well, apparently he is having second thoughts. Now, I'm no economist but I can't believe that cutting taxes for rich people, while continueing to subsidize their corporations raping and pillaging our country as well as Iraq(see: Enron, Halliburton, Blackwater USA.) had negative consequences. Really? This wasn't a good thing? Really? Thank you Mr. Ex-Fed Chairman, I would have never thought of that.... Except, wait a minute, I did think it was a bad idea. So did 460 economists, including 10 Nobel prize winners in economics. But they can't possibly know more than a C student who believes baby Jesus said "Let there be tax cuts." Ahh, certainty the hobgoblin of great minds...or something.

Here are some quick hits from the candidates for presidential candidates from the Stupid Old Party.

Romney: "Some people have said we ought to close Guantanamo. My view is we ought to double Guantanamo." How the fuck do we do that, oh I know lets invade Cuba.

Giuliani: "Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do." Orwell spoken here.

McCain: "F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." Grumpy little grandpa isn't he?

Romney: "My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president." Thank you, Tag. You really are working for the country. Gotta love those Mormon family values.

Huckabee: "If a person dresses provocatively, they're calling attention -- maybe not the most desirable kind -- to private parts of their body." Oh, the 1950's were such a great time.

Note that none of these are malapropisms or solecisms. These are(theoretically) thought out statements made knowingly to the press. These people are unbelievable. Of course we already know who is going to get the Republican nomination. Ladies and gentlemen the Republican nominee for 2008!

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