Solstice Party review

I went to the xsil's Solstice party.(We decided this was my 12th solstice party, I am fucking old.) It was fun, cold, but fun. Thirty-one hosted the usual gala event. Otterbutt and fam were in the house. Ashton was definitely in the house. I'm afraid I was not much of guest because of this. I was either just chillin and not really talking to anyone, or I was rambling about something only I found vaguely interesting, I have to work on that. I couldn't get past the feeling that I was at a class reunion.

Really it was more like a family reunion, a bunch of people who I have been friends with or friendly with at one point, but now see rarely(read at the solstice party). This inevitably leads to "What are you up to?" questions* which I have several pat answers none of which are serious.

Them: "So what are doing, now?"
Me: "Same ol' same ol', just smokin crack, whorin myself, and corrupting the youth of America."

Like that, you see. This is meant as a way to change the course of discussion but was not as successful as I might have hoped. I figured it was better than the truth. Drinking, hanging out with waitresses and generally becoming even more of a misanthrope that I am naturally. The fact is almost everyone there was a grown up which always has a disquieting effect on me.

The party was accented by some strangeness.

• The woman in the Santa outfit crouching down and acting like a rabbit. At least that is what I think she was doing, it was all very strange and I was very inebriated.
• Thirtyone drinks scotch.
• Some dude passed out and fell off the six inch high deck. I didn't see this, which is bummer given my well known love of falling down humor.
• There were no less than 5 blogger folks there but no one had a camera? Note to self: remember the camera next year.
  

Overall, a good time was had by all. So to all my old friends, good to see you. Until next year. Happy Kwanzaa from here in Blogfrica.


*I never ask people this question, unless I know the answer is going to be some variation of nothing. I'm not sure why this is, other than I find that most people are more than willing to talk about themselves without prompting. I also find myself to be a relatively boring topic of conversation.

Ryan Adams

The concert was a great time, I'm still recovering so I will keep it short. IMO the music itself was somewhat disappointing, but thirtyone and otterbutt were there with their respective husbands. A fine time was had by all. Otterbutt and I scalped some tickets while i was out with the lepers smoking. There was a large contingent of 7EO folks there, Jim Beam was passed around and I was pretty much wrecked. Ashton was pleasantly supplied to BBA and I. Remember, brothers and sisters, you can't aim it, just hit it.

bigfangoon(I'll make your throat famous)

I am going to start referring to myself as bigfangoon from now on. Thanks P. Don't know why. Well, I do know why, but its none of y'alls goddamn business. Sorry, I overreacted there.

Maybe, its because I have reduced life into a series of running jokes, drinking escapades, sporting events and of course the ubiquitous Ashton.* I don't know, but I look around and see people getting there shit together, married having kids, or least trying to go down that road and I say to myself. "Self, wtf are you doing?" I guess I should feel like life is passing me by, but I don't. Self, in fact generally replies, "There, but for the grace of tiny, weepy eyed baby Jesus, go I." "You go self." I say and have another beer. I think I have mentioned before, introspection is not really what I do. As you can see, I'm not just saying that, this really is the depth of my internal dialogue.

In fact, the only non-work related bitch I have is about BBA and Sandra D moving. They are leaving in September. To fucking FLA, seriously, I hate the south. I guilted BBA into staying until after the first week of the NFL season because the Cowboys and Giants play. Which leaves me virtually friendless if you don't count xsils and waitresses at the 7EO. But, as hunter s. thompson said, " i hate to advocate drugs,alcohol, insanity, wreckless behavior, sexual deviance,
wander lust and and a complete lack of concern for the future to anyone
but......in my case its worked." So there.

Speaking of BBA he has dared me to use a line on women, and of course I can't turn down a dare. Here's the line, "Hey, baby, I'll make your throat famous!" What do you think? Ladies... Anyone...? Ok, I'll let you know how that works out.

Far from the center of civilization, this is bigfangoon signing off.


*If you don't know, don't ask!

Hey Ma, I blog like a girl.(or How men get screwed on shoes)

Andrew Sullivan links to this site which purports to determine the gender of a writer by using an algorithm. The caveat being that it works best with over five hundred words. None of my posts are that long, so the results might be skewed. Overall, apparently, I blog like a girl. I guess I should be enraged at my algorithmic femininity but I'm not. I do find this is interesting and I wonder what else I do like a girl. No, not that(keep your mind out of the gutter)... Okay, I actually kind of hope I do that like a girl. So follow the link fellow bloggers and let me know if you blog like a girl in comments.

On a tangentially related note, Here is a (redacted and paraphrased)conversation from the 7EO last night. (Jazz won, by the way. Awesome.)

31: My clothes are being held hostage by the dry cleaners.
Me: Your dry cleaner won't give you your clothes?
31: Yeah, It sucks, the worst part is women get charged more than men.
Me: (cluelessly) They do?
31: Yeah, a white man's dress shirt cost less than a woman's dress shirt...
31's friend McNasty:(interrupting) Yeah, but men get screwed on shoes...
BBA: Yeah!
Me: (cluelessly, again) Yeah, we get screwed on shoes.
BBA: We've gotta drop $100 to $150 every time we buy shoes so you can take your two dollars at the dry cleaner...
Everybody laughs

This was our contribution to on going battle of the sexes that dominates our post-modern, 21st century, consumer oriented, existence. I found this entire exchange to be quite funny and enlightening because, despite the fact that I am essentially a materialist, I had never realized the sexist nature of capitalist valuing of goods. What other items are differently priced for each gender. Have no fear, come the revolution we will all wear over sized tees, Mao jackets and flip flops. Take that! Stupid Capitalism.

Did I mention the Jazz won. They did so with some 90's school Pat Riley type defense and allowed only 4 Rockets to score. Thats a playoff record and hasn't happened in the regular season since the the advent of the shot clock.(I have always wanted to say that. Its one of those phrases that gives a quasi-inttellectual air to the essentially mindless activity of reporting on sports.) So if you want to see teams shoot less than 40% and badly missed open jumpers this series is for you. I actually don't have a problem with this type of game, but I tend to be defense oriented, offense is for girls.(Ha, Algorithm, I own you. I am a Man.) The Jazzmen need to start hitting some shots or they are in trouble. I think the offense will come around. Prediction: This series goes all seven games and comes down to some ridiculous play that will be remembered, for better or worse, by The Jazz Nation forever. Write it down!

In case you hadn't figured it out, this is my attempt to write a five hundred word, sufficiently testosterone-filled, post(there is no word counter on blogspot, damn them) and I am not sure if I have five hundred words to say on one subject. This is probably due to my essentially laconic nature...laughter.....laughter subsides... Anyway, as Soul Asylum said, I did my best.

Update: Even this post is feminine.

Update II: ESPN's so called experts have the Jazz going down in 5 or 6 games to the Rockets. Sheridan even says "The Rockets are the best defensive team in the postseason." Really? Really? The Rockets scored 67 points last night. The Jazz held the Rocket bench scoreless. Oh this was just an "aberration." I'll give you an aberration, jerk off. When the Jazz are heading to Dallas, y'all can apologize.

Otterbutt this one is for you!

Update: As long as were talking about xsils, Val wants me to give her credit for coining the 7th east office moniker. Which I have done here but will reiterate the point. Thanks Val.

Something in the air...Part 2

Brothers and Sisters(or xsils who are probably the only people who read this) I'm tellin ya. Springtime and the babies are goin crazy over Chancelot...WTF!?! Even BBA is shocked. I'm laughing my ass off. Like Jimi said..

My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war and
Ribbons of euphoria
Orange is young, full of daring,
But very unsteady for the first go round
My yellow in this case is not so mellow
In fact Im trying to say its frigthened like me
And all these emotions of mine keep holding me from, eh,
Giving my life to a rainbow like you
But, Im eh , yeah, Im bold as love
Yeah, yeah
Well Im bold, bold as love (hear me talking, girl)
Im bold as love
Just ask the axis (he knows everything)
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Heading to the Bees opener tonight. Thirsty thursday, they raised the ticket price and the beer price... Bastards. Anyway I think I should change the name of this blog to Memo from the Seventh East Office.

Blog revamp

Quit blogging for a while because the political thing is done so much better by others and didn't seem necessary to add my commie ass to the fray. But I have been re inspired by the x-sisters-in-law. So I will now focus more on sports, youtube, and everyday life, things that actually matter. Probably still have an occasional blog on particularly interesting political stuff or at least links. So here's to a brand new day. Wild Turkey for everyone. Ha!