Where things will go your way...or they won't
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Maybe, its because I have reduced life into a series of running jokes, drinking escapades, sporting events and of course the ubiquitous Ashton.* I don't know, but I look around and see people getting there shit together, married having kids, or least trying to go down that road and I say to myself. "Self, wtf are you doing?" I guess I should feel like life is passing me by, but I don't. Self, in fact generally replies, "There, but for the grace of tiny, weepy eyed baby Jesus, go I." "You go self." I say and have another beer. I think I have mentioned before, introspection is not really what I do. As you can see, I'm not just saying that, this really is the depth of my internal dialogue.
In fact, the only non-work related bitch I have is about BBA and Sandra D moving. They are leaving in September. To fucking FLA, seriously, I hate the south. I guilted BBA into staying until after the first week of the NFL season because the Cowboys and Giants play. Which leaves me virtually friendless if you don't count xsils and waitresses at the 7EO. But, as hunter s. thompson said, " i hate to advocate drugs,alcohol, insanity, wreckless behavior, sexual deviance,
wander lust and and a complete lack of concern for the future to anyone
but......in my case its worked." So there.
Speaking of BBA he has dared me to use a line on women, and of course I can't turn down a dare. Here's the line, "Hey, baby, I'll make your throat famous!" What do you think? Ladies... Anyone...? Ok, I'll let you know how that works out.
Far from the center of civilization, this is bigfangoon signing off.
*If you don't know, don't ask!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
As a celebrated hater this sounds like my kind of thing, that is if I was the type to internet date, which I am not really.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
NBA you better fix your game, ya' hear.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
A red-faced man who looks like an egg with a moustache glued on grumbles, " If the Germans think they can take responsibility for the world, I don't care about German courts. Bomb them." I begin to witter on about the Pinochet precedent, and Kate snaps, "Treating Don Rumsfeld like Pinochet is disgusting." Egg Man pounds his fist on the table: " Treating Pinochet like that is disgusting. Pinochet is a hero. He saved Chile."
"Exactly," adds Jim. "And he privatised social security."
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
"And so it will be with the coming 2007 NFL season. I’ll drink to kick off the season. I’ll drink when the Vikings win, all three times. I’ll drink Sunday nights AND Monday nights. I’ll drink if TO tries to commit suicide again. If there’s even the slightest opening to engage in shallow and self-destructive behavior, I’ll be on it. Promise."
I couldn't agree more. (obviously excepting the TO swipe, but he is a Vikings fan so he has a right to be upset.) So, lets all get ready for another season of adolescent humor and good times. Yes, a season that will be remembered with all the reverence of the return of the tiny baby Jesus.
Why? you ask.
Good Question, I say. Because this will be the year of the Cowboy. That's right there will be no dropped field goals to save y'all from another Super run by the 'Boys with stars on their helmets.
Just to fuel the hate and get the party started lets take one last look at, what will in the future be considered the beginning of Tony Romo's Hall of Fame career.
Now it is NEXT YEAR.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Saturday was my dude Manson's Bday party, which I had to leave early because I was still somewhat wrecked from Friday.
To make a short story long, I do not like places that are not the 7EO very much. I keep telling myself that it is not so much my own rainman like disdain for change or the whole everybody knows my name factor but that there are actual objective conditions that make me enjoy myself more at the 7EO. I'm sure these other establishments have there own appeal, which is why I have gone to such great lengths to avoid naming them. I'm not trying to hate, but, personally, I think the 7Eo is clearly superior in the below ways.
- Prettier, nicer waitresses
- Better bartenders
- Cheaper beer and they have PBR instead of the ubiquitous Bud Light
- A wider variety of single women
- Better patio and better DJs
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Eric Lichtenfeld explains why this is the greatest one liner ever. Personally, I think Rick has the best one liners, maybe even top three.
In no particular order.
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
Major Strasser: We have a complete dossier on you: Richard Blaine, American, age 37. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. We also know what you did in Paris, Mr. Blaine, and also we know why you left Paris.
[hands the dossier to Rick]
Major Strasser: Don't worry, we are not going to broadcast it.
Rick: [reading] Are my eyes really brown?
Annina: Monsieur Rick, what kind of a man is Captain Renault?
Rick: Oh, he's just like any other man, only more so.
Vote on best one liner in comments.
Btw, I am obviously posting this just so I can continue to use the word motherfucker in post titles. But, you know what ...