Where things will go your way...or they won't

Thursday, September 11, 2008

cheer for injuries or the terrorists will win

Big Daddy Drew at Deadspin explains why cheering for injuries is a good thing.  

Now, I know many people find the idea of cheering for injuries tasteless, and offensive, and inhumane, and disgusting. But those people are WRONG. Wrong as can be. Cheering injuries is the noblest thing a person can do. It’s true!

You see, when I cheer for injuries, I’m not doing it because I’m a bad person. Far from it. I cheer for injuries because I CARE. I think a good, solid injury builds character. Think about Tom Brady’s life up to this point. He’s had it all: hot model girlfriend, tons of money, three Super Bowl rings. What kind of adversity has he faced up to this point? Not a lot. Well, I’m not shallow like all these Boston fans who just want Brady to stay healthy and keep winning. I want Brady to GROW as a person. I want him to learn. I want him to be a better man. And there’s no better way for him to do that than to have his knee viciously torn asunder.

Don’t you see how that makes sense?

....And remember, fans like me are only rooting for injuries, and not full-blown DEATH. I think that shows our true grace, our capacity for mercy. I think it's very classy. It makes us more human to hope Tom Brady gets his leg sheared right off. Look at him clutching his knee like a little girl in that photo. What a bitch.

...So, to you people out there who are drinking hard and clapping deliriously at the pain and misfortune of others, I salute you. You people are real Americans. You’re the true class acts in sports, and don’t ever let some asshole tell you differently.


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